HA.

Sometimes... I crack myself up. Ok... I do that a whole lot! :-) For instance... I haven't updated this here blog for MONTHS! THAT is a reason to laugh!

In those months... life has been busy... hectic... rewarding... stressful... wild... exhausting... full... challenging... lonely... crowded... blessed... and so much more...

However... because I don't keep up with this whole blogging thing as much as I intended to... you should send me an e-mail... give me a call/text... arrange a dinner/coffee date... or find another way to catch me to be updated on my life! :-)

yay!

I have a job. Well... at least for 12 weeks! I will be filling a long-term sub position in 2nd grade at McQuistion Elementary in the Butler School District! Woo hoo!

And now... the panic of finding somewhere to live/getting a classroom ready in a week/figuring out how to teach 2nd grade begins!

first day of many

Today I realized just how difficult it is to be a substitute teacher. It is such a weird/awkward experience! A fire drill and passing out yearbooks made the afternoon a bit crazy, but luckily, today was just a half-day in 2nd grade and it was a good class! Tomorrow is a full day in 6th grade Learning Support... so that should be interesting! Ha.

Notes from some of the kiddos in my class today...

really?!

Did I really just graduate?! Really?!

three years.

I am often asked how I came to attend Portersville Bible Church. The truth is... it all started with a loving friend that met my silly demand for a written invitation. While many things have changed in the three years that followed this first visit to PBC, I am in disbelief that tomorrow is my last Sunday there as a college student. During my time at P-ville, I have truly been blessed and stretched outside my comfort zone. There are so many memories I will cherish... chasing Selah and Adden through the pews after the service or jumping onto the couches downstairs... celebrating birthdays and special occasions... listening to the special music... big hugs and sheepish grins from Callie... The Castle... homemade waffles and pizza at the 'Wigs... cramming into the car to visit "The Medievals"... Christin's enthusiastic greeting each morning... sled riding after lunch... the kiddos in Children's Church... being Gob Princesses... car rides with Rachelle and Garrett... new babies... sleeping over in the camper during "27th weekend"... giving band aids for Mr. Gerwig's many ouchies... musicals and sporting events... having everyone know your name... warm blueberry muffins and terrific conversations at the Charles' house... picnics in the park... taking TONS of pictures... tying Windsor knots... being silly with the teens... making new friends... sharing stories about daily life... and so much more. It's amazing what can happen in 3 years, isn't it? Thank you if you were a part of these memories! More memorable moments to come!

love or money

The thing that may be the hardest about the whole job-thing is not that I won't be able to find one... it's the decision part of it.

For instance... I LOVE preschoolers. Love them. Like... you would not have to pay me to hang out with them. However... throw in the whole job aspect. Is $12 an hour worth it to put my life into a group of preschoolers? For 8+ hours a day? Year-round?

I'm having these mixed emotions. In some ways I feel like I'm better than those long hours and 'eh' pay. But in other ways... I think preschool is a critical foundation for the future and I love being a piece of that foundation.

So... for love or for money?

don't forget

When you leave here, don't forget why you came. ~Adlai Stevenson

legacy

This song keeps playing in my head as I get ready for preschool this morning. I most likely will never see this group of kiddos again. I probably won't see many of my GCC friends again or at least for a long time. Have I made an impact on them in some way? I hope so. They have impacted me.

What kind of legacy do each of us leave behind?

Earth Day. 2009.

Earth Day. 2009.

Complete with recyclable robots (and other creations) and a handprint Earth!

things aren't always what they seem

You MUST watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Didn't expect that, did you?

In fact... maybe you were like me and it made you tear up a little bit!

What a great reminder that things aren't always as they seem! There is more to a person than meets the eye...

walking places

"I recently learned that in an average lifetime a person walks about sixty-five thousand miles. That's two and a half times around the world. I wonder where your steps will take you. I wonder how you'll use the rest of the miles you're given." - Fred Rogers

Think for a second about all the places you have walked in your life... all the people you have met... all the things you have done...

Isn't it overwhelming? Whether we are very old or very young, we all can say something about the kind of life we have lived by the steps we have taken.

My steps have taken me so many places. Places that I have loved and places that weren't so super. Places that I will never forget and places that are hard to remember.

One of the neatest things about all the steps we take are all the people we meet along the way. People that change and challenge the way we look at life. Children that inspire us to live up to their expectations. Family and friends that love on us when we do not deserve it. Then there are the people who have impacted us in our journey without even realizing their influence. There are also people that we may have impacted without knowing it.

I have already walked many, many miles in my life, but what am I going to do with the miles that are yet to come? I am going to serve others with all my heart. I am going to allow myself to be more transparent. I am going to speak up for what I believe in. I am going to thank the people who invest in me both intentionally and unknowingly. I am going to live my life without regrets and spend more time looking out the windshield than back through the rearview mirror.

What are you going to do with the rest of the miles you're given?

we love the wii!

Can I just say that the Wii Fit is like the greatest invention ever?! My Dad just bought one for my Mom and I am in love with that machine!

realization

I just realized... like truly realized... for the first time... that I will be a college graduate in slightly over a month. I will officially be a grown up and officially be done with being a full time student forever. Where has the time gone?! I'm not cool enough to be an adult! AHHH!

investments

"Anyone who has ever been able to sustain good work has had at least one person - and often many 0f whom have believed in him or her. We don't get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others." - Fred Rogers

Each day we are CONSTANTLY investing in something... whether it be our jobs, our families, our friends, our faith, our addictions, our neighbors, or a bajillion other things. I feel like I spend a pretty good chunk of time investing in those around me - especially kiddos!

However, I also know a good number of people that have invested in me over the years. :-) The people that have made my life better. The people that have opened my eyes to new ideas and ways of thinking. The people that have lived out their faith vividly as a spectacular role model. The people that have spent their valuable time to push me as far as I could reach. The people that love me for who I am now.

As I get ready to leave being a full-time student behind and enter the real world, I know I would not be who I am today without the investments other people have made in me. I can't help but be extremely thankful for each of these blessings I have been given. :-)

Mr. Rogers knew his stuff.

"If we're really honest with ourselves, there are probably times when we think, "What possible use can I be in this world? What need is there for somebody like me to fill?" That's one of the deeper mysteries. Then God's grace comes to us in the form of another person who tells us we have been of help, and what a blessing that is." ~Fred Rogers

What can I say? Mr. Rogers knew his stuff!

control freak

I am a control freak. It's true. Sometimes it can be a real blessing... but other times I wish I didn't care so much.

One of the worst feelings in the world is knowing I can't control something. Despite the fact that I can see what's going on and what should happen, I am merely a passive viewer.

suckerpunch.

little teachers

In teaching you cannot always see the fruit of a day's work. Sometimes, it is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years. ~Jacques Barzun

I love my students. Absolutely love them. Even on days when they are silly and crazy and could care less about learning what I want them to learn, they are fantastic people. However, they are not just students. Each kiddo is so much more than that. I am realizing more and more how much each child teaches me and the other children! It is so amazing to watch these kiddos as they learn and grow! And even though these children may not always pay attention to the content I am teaching, they are paying attention to how I treat them and love on them and interact with them. I pray that even when this is not visible in their actions, each child carries this love into their own lives and how they interact with others outside the classroom now and as they grow up.

cuddly and warm!

Despite the very busy life I am leading right now, I had the chance to go home this weekend and hang out with some great buddies from high school. The definite bonus to this was getting to hold a super cuddly, warm, nice-smelling, handsome 2-week-old Parker for a super long time! What a lovely stress reliever from college life!

friends.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. ~Henri Nouwen

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. ~Arnold H. Glasgow

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author Unknown

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help. ~Epicurus

But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik

Friends are terrific. Not the "Hi, how are ya?" kind of friends... but the "Of course you can come over whenever you want!" kind of friends. The kind of friends that don't keep score. The kind of friends that insist on making time to visit. The kind of friends that will give you a big hug and not insist on filling the air with meaningless chatter. These are the kind of friends we all need to have more of. What a blessing it is to have friends like this. What a HUGE blessing. Thank you. :-)

busy week.

Busy week. I'm exhausted.

day by day

Today has been a day where my mind keeps spinning. It is a day where it is a challenge to focus on the tasks that must be done. Sometimes this sort of thing just happens to me when I have a whole lot to do. Kind of like a shutdown of sorts.

Anyway... about that spinning of the mind. A bunch of my thoughts are about people and how we perceive those around us. I feel like we often become so preoccupied with what is going on in our immediate lives, that we forget that other people are living their lives too. It is really selfish when I stop and think about it.

Would it really throw my schedule completely off to actually stop and talk with someone for five minutes instead of rushing past with merely a brief wave in their general direction? - Probably not.

Could there be a reason someone is putting on a show or pulling out some attitude? - Probably.

Do I have the slightest idea of what a person's day has been like outside of my interactions with them? - Probably not.

Maybe instead of becoming annoyed with why people cannot telepathically read my mind and know exactly what I need... I should take some time to show them that I care instead. It could be exactly what THEY need...

march?

When did March get here?!

it's a baby day!

My friend Katie was supposed to have her baby on March 12... which would have been totally fine... but when she started thinking he was going to make his arrivial sooner... I began to be really excited that he might come while I was on break. A few days ago we were even joking about how she should make sure he came before Sunday so that I could visit at the hospital.

This morning he came! And this afternoon I got to hold a VERY cute 4-hour-old baby! And even better than that... I got to watch Paige meet her new little brother! PRECIOUS!

I'm SO happy for Parker's whole family! Welcome to the world, Parker Michael!

what i want.

"So... do you know where you want to teach after college?"


That's the question these days. If I had a dollor for every time I was asked that question and two dollars for every time I heard it being asked to someone else... I wouldn't have to do anything after college!


Last week I went to have my resume looked at by our Education Career Services lady... who is terrific. Unfortunately, my resume needed few changes. Why is this unfortunate? Because it allowed plenty of time for her to talk to me about future plans. AHHH. One of the things she suggested that I do is make a list of the qualities I want in my future school. SO... here goes a work in progress...

I want...

• Coworkers that care about their students.
• A friendly staff that actually likes each other. (At least, for the most part!)
• The administrators to be supportive and knowledable.
• Students that need me.
• A fantastic mentor teacher.
• People that push and help me to do better.
• Kids that are willing to work hard and learn lots.
• Parents that want more for their kids than just status quo.
• A safe-ish area to live/work in.
• Nice roommate(s).
• A classroom where it is ok to give students hugs.

(I'll keep adding to this as I think of things... but please feel free to give suggestions!)

dreaming

Today my blog is interactive. Why? Because it's my blog and I said so, silly!

Anyways... if today was "Make Your Dreams Come True Day"... what would it look like to you?

sick = ick!

I'm one of those people that rarely get sick. However, February 2009 is just not a stellar month for me! A few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the flu. Luckily... I could sleep in the morning and then was ok enough to go to my classes in the afternoon. THEN... my throat started burning on Wednesday. I brushed it off as a cold. The burning got worse and I soon began to panic if I knew I would have to walk outside because I knew it would hurt like whoa. Today, I thought I was going to be observed teaching pre-k... so I got myself up and ready and drove the 45 minutes in the snow only to find out that my supervisor was not braving the snow to observe. Therefore, I taught my lesson and came home. My super-woman mother got me in to see the doctor and now I have some antibiotics pumping through my system. Unfortunately, my throat still feels like it's on fire and my fever remains at 101... but at least I can watch LOST with my little sister and suck on ice cubes at home all night! Hopefully I'm back on my A-game soon! This is no fun!

one of those days

Today was just one of those days. One of those days where I just feel so needy. One of those days where I'm sending out a telepathic S.O.S. for someone to notice me. One of those days that I need a few random and unsolicited words of encouragement sent in my direction. One of those days where I just need a great big hug. One of those days where I want someone to hold me and play with my hair while I cry my eyes out. One of those days that nobody even realizes that I'm having.

sundays and more

A brief snippet of why I ADORE Sundays at Pville...

What a huge blessing these people have been in my life. I will always cherish these memories and the friendships I have developed through these Sundays and more at Pville...

(By the by... there are MANY more pictures like this... I just got tired of uploading!)

fixer upper

I am a fixer. It's what I do. I like to solve problems... find a solution... fix things. Few things frustrate me more than when I cannot fix something. Ugh. How annoying! It is extremely painful to watch someone I love go through something hard and know that I can't fix it for them. *sigh*

3 years

Three years of friendship down... infinity more to go!

Oodles. Always.

plates in the air

I feel like I've thrown about a bajillion plates into the air. Now I just need to be sure to catch them. All of them. On time. Eeesh.

comfortable

It feels like the topic of everything these days revolves around big decisions. Which in my head... translates to... "What am I going to do after I graduate?"

Am I insisting on being comfortable? Or am I willing to take a leap of faith?

hug o'war

I will not play at tug o' war

I'd rather play at hug o' war,

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs....

~Shel Silverstein

I didn't use to appreciate hugs as much as I do now... but I have discovered that a hug can turn a day around! As one of my friends recently stated, "Sometimes, instead of craving chocolate like normal people, I crave hugs from certain people." So true. So true.

chocolate cake

Less than 2 miles from my lovely campus is a beautifully decorated, inviting home. For quite some time I have been SO eager to go to this little house and get to know the people who live there. Tonight... it happened... and it was terrific. :-)

P.S. We had chocolate cake!

really understaning

One of my favorite profs... ok... my FAVORITE prof... said something today that really caught my attention. As we talked about the parents we would inevitably have to communicate with as teachers, she remided us of one of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits...

Seek first to understand... then to be understood.

Sounds like common sense, right? Not only with the whole parent/teacher thing... but in all relationships. But really... how often do I blurt something out before I really take time to understand what someone is saying and where they are coming from. So often I interject before taking the time to empathize and really get it.

On most days, I would rather listen for hours about the struggles in someone's life than to talk about the struggles in my own life. However, in the quick conversations that take place throughout the day, I can't seem to help but provide my two cents worth at every given chance.

Maybe I should take a little more time to actually understand what the meaning is behind the chit chat. Maybe we should all take a little more time to actually understand...

snow day and questions

Today I had a snow day which meant instead of driving to Hermitage and spending all day with my beautiful preschoolers... I got to sleep in, do a bunch of Facebook stalking, eat with my Euro girlies, ask myself a lot of tough questions, and think about stuff.

Things I have thought about include...

• Why can I more opently communicate a billion times better through typing than other ways?
• Could I have gained more from my college years at another place?
• How can a few years change relationships so much?
• Is there a reason why I feel awful about disappointing people?
• Why is my left thumb super duper dry?
• Did I miss out on some really cool stuff while at GCC?
• What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
• Do I make uncalled for assumptions of people too quickly?
• Is my perception of me similar or drastically different to how other people perceive me?
• Why can't I be totally real with the people I love most?
• Can I somehow arrange my schedule so that I'm not stressed out in March when everything is due?
• How do we so often go through life without actually knowing the people around us or what they are going through?
• Did I really go to Europe only a few months ago?
• Why does my left ear/side of my tongue hurt when I swallow?
• Am I forgetting something important?
• Does Vitamin C really do anything?
• Is it possible to not do my homework and still do well this semster?
• What are the chances of a snow day on Friday?
• Why does Dove chocolate always have the best quotes?
• Are people always as they appear?
• Am I going to run out of post it notes?
• Where did I lose my glove?
• Why do we all love to receive e-mails... but hate to send them?

(I have bunches more thoughts... but I'll stop there for now. Ha.)

friend crushes

I've got to admit... I have several "friend crushes". By definition a "friend crush" is...

"Experiencing a strong desire to become friends with a person you don't know very well. Often times, people experiencing friend crushes will exhibit nervousness, giddiness, admiration, and clumsiness similiar to those emotions experienced when being around a regular crush." - urbandictionary.com

"The feeling of really wanting to befriend a stranger or acquaintance. A friend crush is usually very common when one goes to a new school/workplace/etc." - onlineslangdictionary.com

So... you see... I have many of these crushes of sorts. And in the rare case that I actually get to know these people... I find that I can learn a great deal from knowing them because they are usually a lot like me. The bummer for me is that I'm as shy as anything and probably won't ever be real friends with most these people... so I guess that's why they are friend CRUSHES. Ha.

ripples

I'm a big fan of random acts of kindness.

A really big fan.

Whenever I get get bored or just happen to have some free time (which rarely happens at GCC!)... I try to do something unexpectedly nice for someone else.

That got me thinking... it's kind of like a ripple effect. You know when you throw a pebble into the water how it makes all sorts of ripples getting bigger and bigger out from the center? It's kind of like that. Small as each pebble is, not one touches the water without these resulting ripples.

We are kind of like the pebble. No matter how influential or insignificant we see ourselves, we all send out ripples that circle out further than we might ever dream. Things we do or say... whether kind or mean... all ripple out and touch other lives far beyond the boundaries we think they go. People around us are often touched by an act or a word of ours that we never dreamt would get that far.

Sometimes we think we can skip through life, independent, not touching others, hurrying on without time to stop and be concerned about anyone else. The inevitable ripples still flow out. We do influence, we do touch others, even when we are not aware of it. God even reminds us of our ripples… "...you be an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity"( 1 Timothy 4:12).

We have no idea who is watching us or what kind of day the people around us are having. The things I do may just ripple out and change someone else's day for the better!

86,400 seconds

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward

Well... January is apparantly "National Thank You Month". It seems weird to me that this is the month of thanks and not November with Thanksgiving and all. But... I guess we really should be showing our gratitude all the time when it comes right down to it...

Why I teach...

One of my professors gave us an assigment to write down a list of reasons of why we teach. This is what I have come up with so far...

• I teach because nobody else can give a hug as big as a preschooler can.
• I teach because some kids might never be told that someone loves them if I do not tell them.
• I teach because I AM going to make a difference in the future.
• I teach because each day brings something new.
• I teach because my teachers have invested in me and made such an impact on my life.
• I teach because learning can be really fun.
• I teach because children are brutally honest. Always.
• I teach because everyone deserves a chance to learn.
• I teach because I have a passion for children and a desire to help them grow.
• I teach because I love receiving a prized piece of artwork or carefully crafted letter from a child.
• I teach because it is not just about academics.
• I teach because every student has potential.
• I teach because it is not a career… it is a calling.
• I teach because I will continually be challenged and never be bored.
• I teach because an “I love you” from a child can make my heart skip a beat.
• I teach because I want to show children that they can reach their dreams.
• I teach because connecting with a child is worth more than a meager paycheck.
• I teach because I know that every child has a story to tell.
• I teach because of Marsadie, Josh, Paige, Adrian, Callie, Malcolm, Ainsley, Dale, Madison, and so many more.
• I teach because I care.

big girls don't cry

I am not usually a crier... but tonight... as I looked at the background of my computer... I just burst into tears. On my background are some first graders dressed in their Halloween costumes. Not just any first graders... MY first graders. MY first graders that were SOOOO very excited to see me when I stopped in and surprised them with a visit. MY first graders that grew leaps and bounds from that first day of school. MY first graders that will no longer be mine after Tuesday. They are getting a new student teacher. And they're not getting just any student teacher... but they are getting a girl that I have known since we were in first grade. I know the kiddos will love her and she will love them... but it's so hard to realize that life is moving on.

In 2008 alone, I got to know SO many different kiddos... field experiences... two student teaching placements... my preschoolers... 3 VBS programs... Jump Start kiddos... and so many more. I hope I made a difference in their lives. They sure made a difference in mine!

Wednesday I will start student teaching a new group of preschoolers. Fourteen girls and one boy. It's sure to be a wild ride... but I'm excited! I pray that these pint-sized squirts will impact my life and that I will impact theirs!

And in my heart I know that in a few months, I will cry as I leave these kiddos too...

?????

The great thing about teaching is that you can go absolutely anywhere.

The horrible thing about teaching is also that you can go absolutely anywhere.

City? Country? Urban? Rural? Unknown? Known? Leap? Safety?

Sigh.

So far... I've decided that I'm going to stay in Pennsylvania. Most days I'm leaning towards an urban school. But then there's plenty of days where I'd like to play it safe and stay close to home.

Why is growing up so hard?

vbs memories

For some reason today... as I was sitting here in the freezing cold... I started thinking about summer. Then I started thinking about all the things I did last summer which made me think about the two VBS programs that I helped with. That triggered thoughts about my future and debating whether I would rather be around to help with local stuff this summer or be finding a job elsewhere. Then I ignored those thoughts and turned my attention to my own VBS memories.

There are SO many memories... but most involve the music. I have always remembered stuff better when it's set to a tune. I'm pretty sure that if you gave me the beginning of a song we did, I could at least hum it and could probably sing a portion of it. Oh VBS. Definitely good times. I also remember thinking that the teen/college helpers were SO cool and I wanted to be just like them. Wonder if any kids think that about me? Ha. I mean... in the last 2 summers I have helped with 5 different VBS programs at several churches. I'm just sayin'... that's a whole bunch of kiddos! :-)

I love...

I love...

Jesus

my family

random phone calls from friends

taking pictures of anything and everything

going on walks

fresh bread and homemade chocolate chip cookies

teaching

real e-mails (not forwards and such)

when people remember little, meaningful things

my friends

beautiful weather

big hugs

jeans that fit just right

the feeling after a hard workout

getting mail

Disney

being healthy and feeling invincible

laughter... especially from little kiddos

Grandma's noodles

long, super hot showers

crossing out things on my to do list

getting to know what makes someone tick

feeling like I belong

Sundays at Pville

sincere people

dark chocolate

surprising someone with something special

when a huge rainbow takes over the sky

being tan

the color pink

Gerber daisies

just hanging out with a loved one

baking

being pushed out of my comfort zone (after the fact)

having my hair played with

giving and getting honest compliments

holding sleeping babies

playing the piano for fun

helping people

Gram Cracker's homemade apple sauce

being friends with my teachers from the past

people that are making a difference in the world

picture books

shopping at Hallmark

my sisters

giving thoughtful gifts just because

brightly painted toenails

playing a gigantic game of Solitaire with the fam

all the kiddos I've gotten to know

coloring

fresh fruit (especially pineapple!)

diet Coke

relaxing Sunday afternoon dinners

sleeping in

catching up with old friends

people-watching

pomegranate scented and/or tasting stuff

cute necklaces

organization

getting all dressed up

being attacked with hugs from kiddos

*this is not a complete list and the order of these does not necessarily dictate the amount I love them*